Come to Alternative Dining and New Age Spa
We serve the only fern kabob in town
If your spirit is depressed and your body needs a rest
We guarantee to turn your life around.
Your double chin will soon be doing chin ups
When you taste our own Bermuda grass surprise
Your diet will consist of rose hips, knees and wrists
And soup concocted from potato eyes
Remember T-Bone steaks with all the trimmings
And spare ribs smoking in the open air
In ADNAS cooking class they’re visions in your past.
Do you prefer your oatmeal done or rare?
Our imitation, atomized club sandwich
Is enriched with mold from thirty-day old cheese
We feed you with a trowel and commune au natural
While soaking you in mayonnaise and peas
We serve organic tea, unsweetened saccharine,
Crackers made from tadpole dingalings,
Decaffeinated beets and artificial meats
And season them with young grasshopper wings.
Forget your basic food nutrition courses
That stress a balanced diet like we learned
We’ll fill you up with pills, give herbs to cure your ills
And rub you down with scum from butter churns
At ADNAS spa we have a rule to live by
That gives you help to eat the things you should
If you order dining out, whenever you’re in doubt
Just beware of any food that tastes good.